Transcending Peace

Have you ever had a certain feeling that follows you throughout the day like a dark cloud. I sure have. I didn’t necessarily know what it was but it felt like a lingering unsettlement. This was a strong feeling that I now know was a lack of peace caused by my non-existent relationship with God. This may sound like a stretch or a far conclusion to jump to but I can testify to this. Whenever I would hear praise music I would ask for it to be turned off because it was “too sad”. I didn’t like praying on my own and I tried to occupy my time with idle activities like watching TV. I was escaping my thoughts and, what I was about to find out was, the inevitable existential question: “Why are you avoiding God?”

The real answer was a mix of fear, laziness and shame. First of all, the whole idea of heaven and hell freaked me out. How would I ever be perfect enough to get to heaven? Secondly, I doubted that I had the diligence to hold a relationship with someone I couldn’t see. Lastly, could I be forgiven of all the messed up things I’d done and was still partial to? This is just a sneak peak into the mind of someone that satan was taking advantage of. The distance I had created between God and me gave the enemy enough space to squeeze himself in, and my hesitance to fully believe in God was the perfect opening to doubt and an avalanche of questions. These questions drove me to fear the whole idea of life and I eventually began to avoid them at all costs. My childhood relationship with God began to unravel.

Shutting out God meant silencing the Spirit’s promptings which is never a good thing. I wasn’t living for God and to be frank, I wasn’t a Christian. Yes I brandished the title, but without working to please God, love and serve. I carried the weight of these dreaded questions on my shoulders. They buzzed in my ear unendingly. They made me feel tense.

Maybe you aren’t facing this exact line of plots, but if you feel constantly uneasy, take these words of hope: 1. This battle isn’t meant for you. This is a battle that Jesus will willingly lead for you. 2. It isn’t as complicated as it feels. These complex emotions can feel like a knot that is impossible to undo, a web of emotions to power your way through, but remember that once you give your burdens up to God, there is nothing He can’t do (or undo). 3. Pray. I relate talking to God to a free therapy session that actually works. Whatever existential dread you feel weighed down by, however big this mountain may seem, talk to God about it. There is no lighter feeling than that after prayer. Jesus wants to help you and ease you of this hurt and confusion but only if you let him. Matthew 11:28-29 (ESV) reads “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

This verse showed me that whatever was burdening me and weighing down my heart, would be completely eradicated as soon as I let go of my pride and laid my burdens down before my Father. God placed a blanket of repose over me, and I now know the power of prayer. Not only does prayer supply transcending peace, but God is most faithful in working everything out, no matter how ‘big’ or ‘small’ the matter may seem to you. I am a work in progress, but a masterpiece still.

I encourage you today to put aside your pride and lay your burdens down before the LORD. I encourage you to take refuge in the ever gracious arms of God. I encourage you to simply talk to Him about whatever is holding you down because He wants to talk to you. I encourage you to accept the LORD’s peace that transcends all understanding, and experience the complete bliss intended for all His sons and daughters. I pray you find that today.