What I Learned in 2022

I’ll be honest, 2022 was a challenging year. When I think back to every time I prayed, how much I praised God and my attitude in general, I think it’s easy to see why. 2020 and 2021 were radical years for my walk with God. It was a beautiful time when I was seeking Him wholeheartedly, learning more and more about His character, His faithfulness, His stability and falling in love with what I saw. In 2022, however, some combination of reading the Word less, being “too busy” to demarcate time for God and generally being overwhelmed created distance between Him and me. It was in this time that I discovered just how dependent I am on God.

As I tried to do everything in my own strength, attempting to write meaningful and relevant blogs as well as keep track of my other responsibilities, I became frustrated. It was like the more I tried to force things to work in my favour, the worse they turned out. I started to lose hope. I wondered why it seemed like God had forsaken me even though in my heart I knew. At some point, I realised that repeating the same mistakes over and over, telling myself I was too tired and busy to talk to God or ask Him to intervene was what had got me in this position in the first place. I knew the only way to change was through Him. Plus, I missed Him. It was like Psalm 42:1 (NIV) which says, “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.” I missed reading my Bible daily and getting filled up with His spirit. I missed the feeling of warmth and protection I’d get from sitting in His presence for hours and praising Him. I missed the empowerment He gave me to tackle larger-than-life problems and the courage He supplied me with to try new things. I missed doing life with Him.

Although it wasn’t fun, last year was just what I needed to learn how to rely on God. Fully, without the contingency plans for if He doesn’t come through, without crippling doubts and fears. It showed me that if I wasn’t completely depending on Him not only to guide me but to provide me with everything I would need, I was simply taking matters into my own hands. I learned that the LORD has everything. Joy, peace, love, courage, contentment - He has it all. He has every virtue, everything we crave and it can only be found in Him. By trying to do everything in my own strength and leaning on my limited understanding I recognised my inadequacy. John 15:5 (NIV) says, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” I’d seen this verse before, I just didn’t realise that when it says nothing, it literally means nothing. Had I internalised this and just asked for God’s help, I would have been spared a lot of unnecessary difficulties this year, but sometimes the best way to learn is through experience.

I know that in 2023, I’ll recount more triumphant stories about what God has accomplished in my life, but 2022 has shown me that even during tough times I don’t have to shy away from sharing what I’m learning as I’m learning it. Often I try to convey God’s goodness through great testimonies and comeback stories but there’s beauty in the progress too. There are a lot of things God is still helping me with and it’s neither realistic nor fair to think I should have everything figured out before I can share it. I pray that God can reveal Himself to you all through my victories as well as my struggles and that I draw as much strength from you and your testimonies as you do from me. Thank you for always being patient and Happy New Year!