What is Nganzi?

A while ago, I felt a sense of urgency in my spirit. I didn’t really know what it was but I knew that I wanted to share my experience with God in some way. It almost felt like I had to say something…like I had so much to express but I didn’t know where to begin. Honestly, I didn’t even know what I really wanted to communicate, all I knew was that I had to act on it and fast. This feeling began to plague me toward the end of last year, I thought about it constantly - it was something I couldn’t ignore. I remember just contemplating everything that the LORD had done for me at the time and thinking about how I was so eternally grateful to have Him in my life.

2020 was a pivotal year for everyone, but for me, it was extremely crucial. I’m so grateful for what God did in my life that year, for the people He used and the experiences He took me through, I truthfully don’t know where I would be without Him. When I think about the person I was and the person I am becoming, I’m amazed because sometimes I can hardly recognise who it was that I used to be. I’m awestruck at what God has used me to do and for what He’s shown and continues to show me.

So many times I’m just overwhelmed by the fact that He chose me to do His will and that He’s qualified me, I know better than anyone that I’m so undeserving of His mercy and love - if it wasn’t for Him I don’t know where I’d be. Every day I’m reminded that I’m living in my Faher’s grace - I’m being blessed because of His goodness and faithfulness and because of no virtue of mine. It humbles me to think that God still wants to know and commune with me despite everything I’ve done; after seeing me completely, He still loves me and He sticks with me; He’s never forsaken me or grown tired of my antics because that’s just the kind of Father He is.

I cannot count the number of lessons I learned during the pandemic, I believe God used that time specifically to isolate me and force me to spend some time in the quiet. Actually reflecting and seeking Him. I doubt I would have been able to truly know Him had I not had the opportunity to sit in silence with Him and study His Word. It still boggles my mind that He would take the time and trouble to get me to see Him for who He is. His unending patience with me astounds me every day and I am constantly overcome by His steadfast love for me.

One thing I learned that completely altered my life was the fact that I have Someone I can permanently rely on. Prior to this, I always tried to maintain control of every situation, trusting in my own meagre power. However, in that time I gained the friendship of Someone I can trust with all my problems, heartache, failures and regrets. When I need Someone to talk to and share with, God is there for me and when I'm too weak to support myself He’s always supported me. He has never failed me and I'm confident He never will. I cannot think of any man that can match Him. Even when I forget I need Him and can do nothing apart from Him when I rely on my own devices and get too proud for my good - He forgives me. He picks me back up and shows me the right way. Ultimately, the LORD showed me in that time that I have Someone I can trust and that there’s no reason for me to do life alone. He took so much of the weight off of my shoulders and led me to believe in Him completely: even when I’m in limbo and I don’t know what will become of my situation, I’m not afraid because I know now that He cannot lose.

Most importantly though, He showed me what true love actually means. By saving me, sticking by me and showing me continuous favour He gave me the love that I sorely needed and craved and for that I am forever grateful. My greatest testimony now is that whatever I have or lack, I am always content. I have more than enough and I am perpetually at peace because I have all I need in Him.

The point I’m trying to make is that whatever God has done for me He can definitely do for you and more. As I’ve mentioned before, there was no reason for Him to save me the way He did. I can’t help but feel that it would be a disservice to keep all He’s done for me to myself. Matthew 5:14-15 (NIV) says, ​​“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house” I believe that it is every child of God’s responsibility to use their life as a living, breathing testament to our Father. When people experience God personally, that feeling is unmatched. Why should we keep His goodness to ourselves? For me, it's impossible; the urge to share and praise Him is so overpowering - even if there’s no one to hear I will always proclaim what He’s done for me.

The reason I started Nganzi was simply that: I didn’t think I had any right to keep everything I’ve learned to myself. This isn’t to say that I know all there is to know, I certainly don’t and I doubt I ever will but I’m so appreciative for all God has done for me and I’m hopeful for the future. If this blog can encourage someone else to pursue their journey with God and save someone’s soul then it’s absolutely worth sharing my stories, as insignificant as they may seem.

Although I had nothing, I gained everything from the LORD and I hope that others can discover Him for themselves and begin to live the lives that Christ died for them to have. I pray that God can use me to save others and do phenomenal things with their lives as well. I know that in all things His will shall be done and I believe He is always working. Overall, I’m just so thankful for how far Nganzi has come and I’m excited and hopeful for its destiny!